Vegetarian Masters of Bation

Trivia Host: "What company, which owns popular brands Kashi and Bear Naked, was founded in Michigan by a vegetarian?"

Red writes down "Kellogg."

Me: "Did the Kellogg guy found it for vegetarianism?"

Red: "The Kellogg guy founded it to prevent masturbation."

Me: "... ...oh. Well it didn't work."

What, what?

In the butt!

What, what?

In the butt.

Raise your hand if you've ever wanted to punch pretentiousness in the face.

*raises hand vehemently*

 


 

Starting with this abhorrent ad.

Some of my co-workers are fun

Malvo: Okay, so you remember how David Carradine died??

Nunnery: That was the "Kung Fu" guy, right?

Me: That happened so long ago... I forgot.

Malvo: It was like, erauto... erotic automatic...

Nunnery: ...sphincterization... automatic eros... strangulation?

Me: Auto-erotic asphyxiation.

Malvo & Nunnery  Oh riiight.

*awkward silence*

Me: Well he died happy.

Waitress: ... ... ...um, so anything to drink?

Me: Yeah I'll try the Green Monstah brew. ... ... ...We're normal, I swear.