The Ballad Of The Broken Phone

And I ask the eternal question: "How much zo cramns wemgh? ...Cosc? ...Wemgh?"

Brie vs. Red
Brie: When r u gmng co che nexc bar? Phone kenpaz broken
Red: McSorley's is next on the list
...later...
Red: McSorley's
Red: Now
Brie: On minute wan

Brie vs. Me
Brie: When r u heazmng co che nexc place?
Me: I'm not sure--Red would know better because I'm likely out after this drink because I have work tomorrow [note: er, I wasn't even close to leaving after that drink]. But your broken texts are hot.
Brie: Haha glaz u chmnk so
Me: Rrfiifje reufbhrdjd too!
...later...
Me: Good luck with the rest of the night. Sorry I could not celebrate with you all.
Brie: Haha mcs ok. Well be fmne.
Me: I trust you will be, fucked up keyboard and all. Or should I say, fjzked jp kwhbwzrd wnd wll.
Brie: Haha shuc mc
Me: Omg this is pure gold
Brie: Haah scopppp! m canc help mc. Mn phone os broken jusc lmke mn voice.

Brie vs. Simsonite
Simsonite: We are at mcsorelys!!!
Brie: Mn phone ms broken jusc lmke mn vomce!
Simsonite: It's like you are making up English