Jane: "The penis is really not an attractive body part; genitalia in gener-"
Bree: "Oh you just haven't come across the right one!"
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Hermes (NSFW)
Akio: "I was just saying that I'd Photoshop a cock on Madonna and ruin the image of her for you."
Dave: "What--ok, you think I've never seen Madonna with a cock on her?"
Akio: "Nono, I don't think you're understanding what I'm saying. Hermaphrodite."
Dave: "Ok--I know what a hermaphrodite is I think, vaguely, but define for me."
Akio: "Hermaphrodite. She has both genitalia."
Dave: "Oh."
Akio: "And she wants to do you up the ass with her herma dong."
Dave: "And this is the Madonna that I've always known and loved?"
Akio: "Yea."
Dave: "Fine--I'd be spread eagle."
Dave: "What--ok, you think I've never seen Madonna with a cock on her?"
Akio: "Nono, I don't think you're understanding what I'm saying. Hermaphrodite."
Dave: "Ok--I know what a hermaphrodite is I think, vaguely, but define for me."
Akio: "Hermaphrodite. She has both genitalia."
Dave: "Oh."
Akio: "And she wants to do you up the ass with her herma dong."
Dave: "And this is the Madonna that I've always known and loved?"
Akio: "Yea."
Dave: "Fine--I'd be spread eagle."
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
More Griefer Madness aka OMFGLE'ing (Part Whatever of Many)
Remember this? Somewhere in the www.omegle.com universe...
ONE
Stranger: hi
You: hi~~
Stranger: how are you?
You: wrestless
You: u?
Stranger: i'm fine
You: can u change colors in this
You: or i'm stuck w normal txt
You: ?
Stranger: sorry, I cannot
You: where u from
Stranger: romania
Stranger: u?
You: delaware
Stranger: where is that?
You: im bad at my geographie but s'like
You: in the south
You: in america
You: somewhere in the south
Stranger: I understand
You: wantedto change my text to pink
You: o wellz
Stranger: pink? you are a girl then?
Stranger: right?
You: pink rox
You: whabout u
You: what's ur name
Stranger: ada
Stranger: yours?
You: Greg
Stranger: a boy who likes pink. interetsing
You: its the 90s
Stranger: what?
You: modern times =^)
You: wasn't always a boy
Stranger: what?
Stranger: you were a girl
Stranger: ?
You: this is what i was told when i woke up
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
TWO
You: shark vs. octopus
Stranger: hi
Stranger: what?
Stranger: age
[short pause]
Stranger: hey
You: 19
Stranger: is there anybody?
Stranger: i'm 30 boy.
Stranger: but i'm married.
Stranger: ^^
Stranger: are you married?
You: not anymore.
[long pause.........]
You: "Angelina Jolie got some big-ass titties" [note: no nudity but nsfw]
You have disconnected.
THREE
Stranger: hi
You: hi. what's the deal with this site
You: wonder who thunk it up
Stranger: um..
Stranger: just talking about
Stranger: something we may be interested in..
Stranger: where are you from?
You: so Chatty McChatterson, in essence
You: delware
Stranger: what are you talking about?
You: i'm from delaware
Stranger: oh..
Stranger: I see..
Stranger: I understand..
Stranger: just happy talking with American..
Stranger: what's your purpose of talking here?
You: i meant delaware, indonesia
Stranger: Ah..
Stranger: sorry..
You: there;s a delaware in American too?
Stranger: I misunderstood..
You: cooool
Stranger: no..
Stranger: I misunderstood..
Stranger: How about indonesia these days?
You: oh wait google says there is
You: i'm gonna to book a flight there right now!
Stranger: Here is South Korea.
You: wanna come
Stranger: not America
You: awe
Stranger: You think me as an American?
You: i guessed so. korea since you said it
You: but now that you ask
You: are you an american...
You: or an american't?
Stranger: I'm american..
Stranger: but in Korea
Stranger: Do you really accept it?
You: i accept debit or credit
You: no amex please
Stranger: haha
Stranger: you study financial subjects?
You: i study the hawley-smoot act
Stranger: debit or credit is.. financial term.. maybe used in..
Stranger: hawley-smoot?
Stranger: what is it?
You: It was an act signed into law on June 17, 1930, that raised U.S. tariffs on over 20,000 imported goods to record levels.
Stranger: oh..
You: In the United States 1,028 economists signed a petition against this legislation, and after it was passed, many countries retaliated with their own increased tariffs on U.S. goods, and American exports and imports were reduced by more than half.
Stranger: Oh..
You: The act was originated by Senator Reed Smoot, a Republican from Utah, and Representative Willis C. Hawley, a Republican from Oregon.
Stranger: What's your profession?
You: When campaigning for president during 1928, one of Herbert Hoover's many campaign promises to help beleaguered farmers had been to increase tariffs of agricultural products. Hoover won, and Republicans obtained comfortable majorities in the House and the Senate during 1928. Hoover then asked Congress for an increase of tariff rates for agricultural goods and a decrease of rates for industrial goods.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
FOUR
You: a/iq/l?
Stranger: 18/f/usa bisexual looking for girl tp share some sexy pics with, if your not plz disconnect
You: oh oh
You: where in the usa
Stranger: tx
You: san antonio
Stranger: Houston
You: <3
Stranger: female?
You: on a good day, yes
Stranger: this a lil weird??
You: omegle? def
Stranger: lol
Stranger: age?
You: 19
You: 5'3"
Stranger: you have pics cause mine go from full clothed to full nude
You: are these for you or are these gona be shared
Stranger: im gonna share them with you
Stranger: but i trade pics my pic for ur pic
You: o ok i meant with other ppl
You: i trust u but not other ppl
Stranger: oh the ones of you?
You: ya
You: here's one that i keep open to keep the ball rollin
You: it's a duet
You: so yeah <3
Stranger: baby i dont share well heh so theese pics will be for my eyes only
You:
Stranger: ....
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
ONE
Stranger: hi
You: hi~~
Stranger: how are you?
You: wrestless
You: u?
Stranger: i'm fine
You: can u change colors in this
You: or i'm stuck w normal txt
You: ?
Stranger: sorry, I cannot
You: where u from
Stranger: romania
Stranger: u?
You: delaware
Stranger: where is that?
You: im bad at my geographie but s'like
You: in the south
You: in america
You: somewhere in the south
Stranger: I understand
You: wantedto change my text to pink
You: o wellz
Stranger: pink? you are a girl then?
Stranger: right?
You: pink rox
You: whabout u
You: what's ur name
Stranger: ada
Stranger: yours?
You: Greg
Stranger: a boy who likes pink. interetsing
You: its the 90s
Stranger: what?
You: modern times =^)
You: wasn't always a boy
Stranger: what?
Stranger: you were a girl
Stranger: ?
You: this is what i was told when i woke up
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
TWO
You: shark vs. octopus
Stranger: hi
Stranger: what?
Stranger: age
[short pause]
Stranger: hey
You: 19
Stranger: is there anybody?
Stranger: i'm 30 boy.
Stranger: but i'm married.
Stranger: ^^
Stranger: are you married?
You: not anymore.
[long pause.........]
You: "Angelina Jolie got some big-ass titties" [note: no nudity but nsfw]
You have disconnected.
THREE
Stranger: hi
You: hi. what's the deal with this site
You: wonder who thunk it up
Stranger: um..
Stranger: just talking about
Stranger: something we may be interested in..
Stranger: where are you from?
You: so Chatty McChatterson, in essence
You: delware
Stranger: what are you talking about?
You: i'm from delaware
Stranger: oh..
Stranger: I see..
Stranger: I understand..
Stranger: just happy talking with American..
Stranger: what's your purpose of talking here?
You: i meant delaware, indonesia
Stranger: Ah..
Stranger: sorry..
You: there;s a delaware in American too?
Stranger: I misunderstood..
You: cooool
Stranger: no..
Stranger: I misunderstood..
Stranger: How about indonesia these days?
You: oh wait google says there is
You: i'm gonna to book a flight there right now!
Stranger: Here is South Korea.
You: wanna come
Stranger: not America
You: awe
Stranger: You think me as an American?
You: i guessed so. korea since you said it
You: but now that you ask
You: are you an american...
You: or an american't?
Stranger: I'm american..
Stranger: but in Korea
Stranger: Do you really accept it?
You: i accept debit or credit
You: no amex please
Stranger: haha
Stranger: you study financial subjects?
You: i study the hawley-smoot act
Stranger: debit or credit is.. financial term.. maybe used in..
Stranger: hawley-smoot?
Stranger: what is it?
You: It was an act signed into law on June 17, 1930, that raised U.S. tariffs on over 20,000 imported goods to record levels.
Stranger: oh..
You: In the United States 1,028 economists signed a petition against this legislation, and after it was passed, many countries retaliated with their own increased tariffs on U.S. goods, and American exports and imports were reduced by more than half.
Stranger: Oh..
You: The act was originated by Senator Reed Smoot, a Republican from Utah, and Representative Willis C. Hawley, a Republican from Oregon.
Stranger: What's your profession?
You: When campaigning for president during 1928, one of Herbert Hoover's many campaign promises to help beleaguered farmers had been to increase tariffs of agricultural products. Hoover won, and Republicans obtained comfortable majorities in the House and the Senate during 1928. Hoover then asked Congress for an increase of tariff rates for agricultural goods and a decrease of rates for industrial goods.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
FOUR
You: a/iq/l?
Stranger: 18/f/usa bisexual looking for girl tp share some sexy pics with, if your not plz disconnect
You: oh oh
You: where in the usa
Stranger: tx
You: san antonio
Stranger: Houston
You: <3
Stranger: female?
You: on a good day, yes
Stranger: this a lil weird??
You: omegle? def
Stranger: lol
Stranger: age?
You: 19
You: 5'3"
Stranger: you have pics cause mine go from full clothed to full nude
You: are these for you or are these gona be shared
Stranger: im gonna share them with you
Stranger: but i trade pics my pic for ur pic
You: o ok i meant with other ppl
You: i trust u but not other ppl
Stranger: oh the ones of you?
You: ya
You: here's one that i keep open to keep the ball rollin
You: it's a duet
You: so yeah <3
Stranger: baby i dont share well heh so theese pics will be for my eyes only
You:
Stranger: ....
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Google Voice: Long-ass Words
Only the Facebook friends of the blog admin can actually see the "Enjoy This Voicemail" vid, so here's one for the masses. Al tries to read a list of long-ass words from the English Dictionary to Austin over voicemail. Google Voice tries to transcribe speech to text. Hilarity tries to ensue. And does.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Quote-a-thon Living Document
From the book, "Things Drunk People Say" by Kathleen Go:
"I'd like to punch someone for a lady. A lady's honor."
Jason, when drunk-texting Jane (on any given night):
"Me Tarzan."
Yuxi on "House of Wax" and Elisha Cuthbert's GENIUS main character:
"She ran into a wall...
...she pulled the knife out of her brother's leg (as he was still trying to fight off the bad guy) and just stood there holding the knife instead of instantaneously stabbing the bad guy with it...sigh..."
Dave, on the kid from Pixar's movie "Up":
"That kid was Asian!? I thought he was just really fat!!!"
Megu, on being girly:
"I'm not pink or flowery. If I was, I'd shoot myself."
SonZer, answering one of those Facebook questionnaires that should have died when e-mail chain letters died:
"39) Are you jealous of anyone?
Nope...I'm the shit - lol"
Jane on the most ominous bar in the world:
"I was at a bar which is apparently made out of lead and no one has ever gotten a cell phone signal in there."
Alexis, recounting the life of her pet cricket:
"Maryland is THE place to catch things. Once I caught this cricket and put him in a shoebox. I named him Robert. Not sure why I thought of Robert. I think I fed him leaves. Then one day my sister sat on the box, and I think that was about it for Robert."
"I'd like to punch someone for a lady. A lady's honor."
Jason, when drunk-texting Jane (on any given night):
"Me Tarzan."
Yuxi on "House of Wax" and Elisha Cuthbert's GENIUS main character:
"She ran into a wall...
...she pulled the knife out of her brother's leg (as he was still trying to fight off the bad guy) and just stood there holding the knife instead of instantaneously stabbing the bad guy with it...sigh..."
Dave, on the kid from Pixar's movie "Up":
"That kid was Asian!? I thought he was just really fat!!!"
Megu, on being girly:
"I'm not pink or flowery. If I was, I'd shoot myself."
SonZer, answering one of those Facebook questionnaires that should have died when e-mail chain letters died:
"39) Are you jealous of anyone?
Nope...I'm the shit - lol"
Jane on the most ominous bar in the world:
"I was at a bar which is apparently made out of lead and no one has ever gotten a cell phone signal in there."
Alexis, recounting the life of her pet cricket:
"Maryland is THE place to catch things. Once I caught this cricket and put him in a shoebox. I named him Robert. Not sure why I thought of Robert. I think I fed him leaves. Then one day my sister sat on the box, and I think that was about it for Robert."
Sunday, August 2, 2009
What's really real, son?
Chris: "It doesn't look real."Alexis: "What, she doesn't look like she's really in the universe?"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)